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Dandy Daydream

Written ~ (06/09/26) · Published ~ (Unpublished)

Uploaded ~ (07/03/26)

"Grant me one day more
"Oh, Merciful Lord...."

The man wakes and looks in his room
Posters of metal, and games of Doom

His mind is dark, and his anger seething
He desires to make everyone run screaming

He knows his art is internal blood shed...
The message he could send as his blood spread

The feeling of the release of all the weight...
That causes him to relish his destined fate

Though he sees his mother in tears...
The same woman who fought for him all these years

How could he betray her?
Visions flash in his mind as a blur

The hurt he would instill is too much to bear
So by slicing the vein vertically he doesn't dare

But the desire to kiss the blackness of eternity
Has been planted like a seed since his youth
The simmering sacred self-loathing internally
To scream without sound, but rather show, his truth

To work he goes to worship at endless rows of tiny walls
His yearning to rip through the mundane with his claws

"Do they even remember my name?"
He thinks to himself as he casts blame

He hates the meaningless "hellos"
He says to himself "to hell they can go"

He imagines the fear coursing through panicked crowd
As he declares his decree with voice now so loud

Bang… bang... bang... "it would be so damn easy"
Desensitized to the thought, no longer queasy

But still though, it would be best if there were more
One final statement to be splattered in gore

"They would know my name then"
At this thought is the juncture he remembers when...

He came upon a frightful sight in his youth
The violated body of his uncle as proof...

That suicide is viable when you have had enough
When you feel there is no longer any trust—so rough

That uncle whom he loved left the world behind
The hurt, the questions, the endless cycle of the mind

He wouldn't want to do this to his mother as he knows so well
How living with this depression is so grand and such a living hell

There he decides to do what he must, he can't bear to see
what she would be like if he chose to cease to be

So at night in her sleep, he knew what plans to go through
And to smother her sweet dreaming and her life to undo

Then she would not feel the hurt he would cause...
When he chose to show the world his claws

With her now out of the way he would defy and shun
Only a few hundred to buy his favorite gun...

Ding... ding... ding... the alarm awakens our young lad
His mother enters the room smiling and looking so glad

The horrid homicide and suicide scene...
Always playing in his mind, as the most peaceful dream

Disclaimer:
This poem is a story, nothing more. I do not condone the actions stated in it.
If you’re struggling with serious thoughts similar to these, please reach out to one of the Caring Resources provided.